Dad wisdom

Apparently our crabs are of the suicidal variety

Mom emergency

Only in the Shanker household does dinner fight back.

How to spot fravid in the wild

I just thought this was too adorable not to post. 

Mom intuition

Whats more annoying: The fact that Fran always asks if I'm PMSing when I am acting bitchy or the fact that when I look at the calendar she is always right. 

Saturday nights

Saturday nights: Some folks cozy up to a good book, some watch a movie, some go out and party. Fravid has decided to read the local circulars. Go get em Frave- "cherry pick em to death!"

Mom recipes

Some families share their recipes by word of mouth while some write them down. Fran doesnt believe in these conventions. 

Sense of Humor

Dr. Mom

"Your mother is furious with me"

Dad: "So I went to homegoods today, and they had this ANIQUE ITALIAN PASTA MAKER. It was on sale and I had to buy it. I havent told mom yet..."

Salad

Sometimes you getting "pickled fucking herring" in your salad dressing. Keep the surprises coming dad!

Hypocritical mom

[insert ex bfs name here]

Best I ever had

Getting started

Typical Fran:

Me: "Hey I invited Steph over this weekend to shelter island"

Mom: "[long pause], oh... well, is she staying the whole weekend because 3 days would be much better than 4]"

Why do you always do this to us franny!?